Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
