rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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