I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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