I wanna passion pit in your ass
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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