Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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