I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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