my sisters under your porch take her home
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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