There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Randomize
