The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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