Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
