people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
third nipple confirmed
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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