PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
