I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
