I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
A bitchslap is in order.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
