Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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