So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
