Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
