matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
