He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
