Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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