dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
