i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If its not for food we ain't going out.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
