one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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