I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
