So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
