butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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