conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
