I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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