i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
