i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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