She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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