Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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