the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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