Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
