I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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