i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
