According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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