just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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