pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
