If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I am available for nakedness
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