So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize