Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
should my penis look like a turkey
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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