well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
