Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
