It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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