She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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