so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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