do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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