You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
