it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
